WARNING TO PARENTS!!!

If the American press can be trusted, it is ILLEGAL to tattoo your kids! Who knew?! When we moved to Germany, we were concerned that our kids, as foreigners, would be picked on in school. Giving them really bad ass tattoos made so much sense at the time. If our good friend Thomas (the attorney, not Völkering) is reading this, please advise as to the legality of child tattoos in the EU. I used an improvised device very similar to the one in the article, but leveraged old banjo strings I had lying around; it seemed fitting for some reason. Like the mother who was arrested, I can’t figure out why this got “blowed up so big”.

Just in case there are self-righteous people out there judging us, thinking we’re abusing our children with these tattoos, I want to state for the record that we immediately made clear to Sophia the real spelling of “tough”.

Is there anyone out there really dense enough to not get this as an obvious joke? Probably.